I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
