i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
