Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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