I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize