I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
