I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
