I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Houston, we have a squirter
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize