I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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