You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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