pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
