there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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