the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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