Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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