Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
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gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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