Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Mom said you looked used
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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