They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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