Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
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That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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