does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
