btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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