I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
