I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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