if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
