turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
