KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
