and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
