You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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