since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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