This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
