Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The air was thick with penises
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
