So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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