I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
