she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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