I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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