I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize