It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
