She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
