I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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