On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
