She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
