Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
