I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
