Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
