I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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