Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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