how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
