My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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