I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky