I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
