I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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