Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
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At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
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We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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