Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
