chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
