All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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