Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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