You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize