the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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