Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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