She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
